Have you outgrown your job?

Many of us stick around in jobs that aren't benefiting us far too often because we're comfortable with what we're used to and that is a huge disservice to ourselves and places us at a disadvantage professionally. You should never conform to being too comfortable in anything you do. You're not in the growth state when you're living in your comfort zone and if you're not growing life is passing you by. This is especially true when thinking in terms of your professional life. You should never feel like you've reached a plateau professionally and if you feel like that then it an indication that it's time to move on. Companies are always looking to out perform themselves year after year and you should  do the same for yourself. If you have an employer, never forget that you are expendable to an organization and in terms a "depreciating asset". Not to be harsh but lets face facts, you're aging and knowledge is constantly changing and each market is rapidly evolving. In order to contribute newer and fresher ideas that are aligned with the change in industries, you'll need to increase your skillset to make yourself indispensable to your current job or desirable to a potential new employer. If your company isn't investing in you to learn the latest innovation then you need to invest in yourself and that can only be achieved two ways. Taking classes to enhance your skillset or jumping ship to another company who is willing to train you. Either way you're getting out of your comfort zone and that's growth. For those of us who arent' sure if your not growing professionally below are a few indications that are telltale signs that it's time to move on.

1. You're BORED at work. If you're constantly watching the clock and your daily responsiblities aren't challenging then it's time to either discuss this with your management or move on. Time is precious so don't waste time can be spent doing something more stimulating.
2. Your current employer isn't utilizing your skills. If you've expressed to your current management that you could be doing more and they aren't willing to give you a try then take your skills and apply them to another company who will most likely compensate you more for what you know.
3. Do you feel physically or mentally exhausted during the weekdays but okay on your own time? This is your body and subconscious telling you that it's underwhelmed and would rather be resting during those times that are spent on auto-pilot. Listen to your body and get in-tune with what your subconscious is trying to tell you.
4. If your constantly worried about money  because you have more bills then pay then get out there and chase it. You already know more money wont come at your current position. Increase your knowledge by getting out of that comfort zone. Make a game plan with hard dates attached to achieve your goal and make sure you outline a road map to success. You'll get where you want and even if you don't quite make it to the set dollar amount you'll be better off than where you are currently. You just have to do it!

Wednesday Motivation

Happy Hump Day Y'all!!!

UrShadyBFF

Have you guys checked out Jada Pinkett Smith's latest edition of her Red Table Talks? If not don't worry because I've got you. I really like her talks and how she incorporates her daughter and mother into the mix. Her Sex Talk episode was worth the watch. I especially liked how she said she got her first chat from her grandmother about self pleasure but I definitely question the age they were discussing sex toys being that 9 is a bit early in my opinion. I'm not telling my near 9 year old daughter that when she gets of age she should get that vibrator poppin. NOPE... I'll pass! But on the other hand I do have a 19 year old and I didn't have that discussion with her either about experimenting with sex toys but honestly at the age of 19, I did have a vibrator. I keeps me a pleasure toy on hand to this very day.

I think I never thought of sex toys as taboo but I don't recall having conversations with my girlfriends either because from what I remember I was the only one with a vibrator way back when. I've also always known I was sexually explorative and chalked it up to being a Scorpio. Regardless it's just always been a part of my identity and I just never had the desire to conform to the norms of bland sex until I got older. I guess some would've called me a sexual deviant at the time because lord knows my mother didn't understand it. I recall a time when my mother found one of my toys and videos because I liked having a variety and she damn near had a heart attack. I had vibrators, strap-ons, whips, tape, handcuffs, costumes, wings, videos, Ben Wa balls... you name it, I had and I was only about 20 at the time which is the same age as my daughter now and I wasn't ashamed of it AT ALL. Now that I'm a mom I would consider it a bit odd if my daughter had my arsenal but I do know that she's purchased her own introductory sex toy because she accidentally drop the tags but I didn't say anything to her because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable about her choice. Now that she's about to turn 20 and after watching the video I definitely want to make sure she knows and understands that self pleasure is great at helping you understand your body and helps you to understand your own likes and dislikes sexually. It also teaches you how to have an orgasm without stumbling on it accidentally down the road IF that down the road ever happens. You should definitely know what gets you off without equating it to a separate individual.  That how stalkers are developed. LOL
I once ran into an ex at the gym a few years ago and he said "you were the first girl I ever knew who had a vibrator and now everyone has one". At the same gym I would also see his wife whom I never met but recognized through pics on Facebook and I guess she recognized me too seeming as though she spent her entire time on the treadmill looking at me. I realized she knew who I was but like I said we've never formally met and I don't believe we were together when they started dating but either way he was never that important to me and only served as a late night creep but I definitely got the sense that I've come up in conversation for them.   I just laughed it all off then but thinking back on it I remember him calling me wayyy after we were through saying "hey... I just want you to know that I'm getting married" and I thought and most certainly said "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME? Congrats!" but connecting those dots I must have held a special place in his memory bank with all my sex toys.

Refresh your home for less!

There is no better time to spruce up your place like the season changing. From time to time your home space can start to feel a little mundane and you get the urge to switch it up a bit. However if you're like a lot of us out here living paycheck to paycheck then you're on a budget and don't have unlimited funds to ball out and re-decorate completely. Still there are ways to stay within your budget while adding just enough to see a noticeable change for the better in your home. When it's your turn this summer to entertain you'll be excited to welcome your friends into your newly decorated comfy space.

Tired of that old looking linoleum floor? Paint it! You can even get creative with a floor stencil to add a dramatic change for less. Update basic stairs or a drab bathroom floor with a fresh coat of paint and stencil for added flare. Stencils for flooring can be found at Home Depot or even Amazon for around $16. Grab a can of paint and get to painting. You'll be happy you did!

Decluttering is one of the most effective ways to make your home more serene and look more polished. The best part is that it cost absolutely nothing. Take a night normally spent binge watching Netflix and start purging old mail, clothes, shoes and trinkets that are lying around. We all have stuff that we're never going to use so make a project of it or start off small. Commit to throwing away 5 things a day for 10 days. You'll  definitely see a change and you'll feel better that you've done it. 

Blake Lively - Fashion Win!!!

I love Blake Lively's style! Especially love the look she had for the the Deadpool 2 premier where she kept her formal look playful with a Judith Leiber bag and Ofira jewelz earrings. Blake also made sure to remind her followers that it takes a whole lot people to pull off one of these red carpet looks so don't beat yourself up too bad filtering your own pics to post. It's takes collective minds for these celebrities to slay.  It's also a part of her job to look . Which got me to thinking about how impactful if our attire is in our everyday lives and how it impacts how we're perceived on the job?



Increasingly our visual senses are overly utilized due to all of the social media platforms designed to keep us in touch but actually feeds into an overwhelming appeal to vanity. Constantly peeking into others lives only stimulate our visual perceptions and drives the urge to judge others strictly on their outward appearance. As a society we're constantly making conclusions on others fulfillment, competencies and joy based solely on what we see within the first few moments of interaction.

Since we understand that there is a preconceived view of what work attire should be, what does your professional wardrobe say about you? Can your professional career be stunted strictly based on what someone else perceives you to be based on your attire??? I believe it's done everyday. Is it right? No but we certainly pass judgment on people based on their appearance and the management staff at your office is no different than you and I so of course your appearance holds weight when people are interacting with you within the office.

Read How to get a professional wardrobe

How to get a professional wardrobe without breaking the bank- Women's Edition

Having a professional appearance doesn't have to break the bank. It's all about selecting a few key pieces that give you the appearance of upward mobility that you desire. As discussed in another post your 9-5 appearance definitely has an impact on how others in the office perceives you and that includes your boss. Not only does your on the job performance matter but your physical look holds just as much weight as your last resolved task on that expanding to-do list. The problem that most of us have is not knowing how to spend our hard earned money on items that reflect a winning persona without spending your entire paycheck on looking the part. Let's face it, we all have multiple wardrobes in our closets and your leisurely attire should hold more presidency in your closet because it's more likely to express your true individuality. It's that part of you that reflects your true identity and uniqueness but we all still have to earn a living. So let's us assist you in looking the part of the upper management without bleeding your wallet.



1.  A plain black below the knee pencil skirt. Thinks Suits because whomever styles their crew is on point! A pencil works well with everything and since it's black can be worn twice in a week with different shirts and accessories. It's elegantly sleek and classic and pairs well with anything. Pencil skirts also compliment all body types because it allows for you to hide or accentuate accordingly and adds an instantly polished look. The one featured below is from Sears and can be purchased for less than $16.

2. A neutral color silk textured shirt. It's another classic piece that pairs well with other items and instantly adds a polished professional look. It can also be worn on casual Friday's along with denim to give off a casual professional look that says I'm still business and can be paired with any accessories to take you from the office to happy hour effortlessly. This will probably be the most costly item on your shopping list but it's well worth it. A great silk top is a wise investment and the neutral color allows for it to be a staple in your wardrobe for years to come so the investment pays off.