I recently read an article in
Huffington Post Black Voices that could transcend across racial lines to include all cultural divides and even gender but let's stay with the topic set by the article. I myself have felt the range of emotions in the workplace and I've definitely experienced some bias but something that I've learned along my journey is that I cannot let other peoples negativity sway my self perception. In addition someones negativity will not intervene with my professionalism in the work-place and what it all boils down to is your professionalism.
I will share a true story that helped me ease the boundaries that I felt in the workplace once when I was going on a team building trip with co-workers in the middle of Arkansas. Keep in mind for the newbies to my blog that I am an I.T. professional. I've been in I.T. for over 10 years and once, prior to going on a work team building trip with my colleagues I was debating on what to do with my hair since I'm natural (with a relaxer). I really was debating what to do for days and I casually mentioned it in a group setting and one of my colleagues who happen to be a Vietnamese middle aged man said "why don't you just braid it?" and I swear I was in shock. hahaha I had NEVER braided my hair at all beforehand in my I.T. job because I feared it wouldn't be perceived as unprofessional but here I was putting boundaries on myself. Needless to say that I put box braids in my hair and went on the weekend work trip and I did receive the normal questions about how I care for the braids etc. but overall after the few questions and the regular "I love your braids" comments I was over it. It wasn't as uncomfortable of an experience as I thought it would be. I later ventured into wig for protective styles and I could careless who knows it's a damn wig on a Tuesday. Everyone has seen my natural bob cut and if they see a short pixie then they know it's a wig. Still every now and then if I do wear my hair out of my traditional everyday Bob then I do get the occasional "did you cut your hair" or "I didn't recognize you".
Fast forward to just a few weeks ago I saw another middle aged white colleague with bright pink hair. I chalked it up to a mid life experience and in my own mind took a mental note that she too probably pondered over that decision for a while and add in the age factor and I'm sure the comments she received were through the roof but but to each his/her own. Hey... if you like it then I love it. None of your personal expressions should interfere with work performance and it all boils down to your work performance. Similarly to any social setting you'll find those who vibe with you or not and if not then that's okay too. One thing for certain is that you should always try to find little things that make you happy and gives others a true sense of your identity whatever that may be. You're only doing a disservice to yourself if you try to suppress your individuality to fit in. It's the same with school and something that I've told my own daughter for years... do you and if need be get comfortable being by yourself and doing things that feel good to you. No one else has to travel your journey and for the most part other people are soul searching too. It takes a lot practice to be comfortable in your own company. We all vibrate at different frequencies and finding the frequency that best fits your identity, you'll also find your tribe. Your tribe are those who vibe at the same frequency as you. Vibrating at your optimal peak will always lead you in the right direction in life and you'll get a sense of those people who vibrations are similar to you. Let your intuition guide you and let the naysayers watch while you shine.
