If I like you, you know. I'm the type of person who can't really hide my feelings because my expressions won't allow me to conceal it. I'm also very selective about who I allow into my small circle because if you're in my circle then I value you. The only problem with that is sometime it's the people closest to you that turn out to be the most conniving and the most jealous so you have to beware and weed out the soul suckers from those that uplift and add peace of mind. The problem is how do you spot the soul suckers from the rest when you're increasingly around the negative? You're around people all day that don't really add benefit to your life and who are just like fillers so it's hard to know and really appreciate those who have substance. I'm going to give you a few pointers on how to spot a fucked up friend so that you can appreciate those who are real and add benefit to your life.
1. Real friends really do want the best for you. Everyones life does not move at the same pace yet still it's only natural to be slightly envious when you see those closest to you excelling. A true friend may experience some of these same jealous tendencies but they push those thoughts aside so that they can genuinely help you celebrate and share in your special moment. The problem is that it's a two sided coin and you'll have to return the favor with grace. A friendship like any relationship must be give and take so knowing that we have our own separate road map for achievements is critical to a friendship.
2. Real friends don't talk about your issues to everyone who will listen. Have you ever heard misery loves company? A true friend doesn't get joy out of seeing you miserable. People love to hear stories about other people and their failures to make themselves feel good about where they are in life or their own choices but a real friend doesn't do that. People who listen to stories about another persons life and then offer no true suggestions other than to take that information and use it as gossip with other people, well they're not your friends. Cut those ties and keep it moving.
3. A real friend listens to you and your issues but their also honest with you when offering their advise. Don't mistake honesty as offensive or malicious. At times we all need someone to pull us aside and offer us their advise because you aren't able to catch everything that you do or say. Remember when you're mom would check you about little things that you felt at the time weren't a big deal only to turn around later in life and appreciate the advice? Well friends should also fill this characteristic. Support you yes and then pull you aside and give you a little heads up.. definitely! We need that in order to grow. Learning doesn't stop when we're young. It's a continual process.
4. A true friend listens and you'll need to return the favor too. They should be your sounding board and vice versa. No one should be more understanding than your true friends.