Happy???

Are you happy with your spouse?  Were you a Sex and the City fan? If so were you happy when you got to see Carrie finally snagging  and marrying Mr. Big getting her happy ending? I bet you were content with that happy ending of your favorite show until they premiered the movie which detailed how life had settled in for Carrie and like the rest of the married population her life became routine with the settled in lifestyle that marriage brings. They had to put the spin on it though to keep you entertained with the movie so they brought back an old flame and re-enters a old love interest who seems happily married and she debates cheating but that's all entertainment right? But what happen to her happy ending? Why couldn't she be content and happy with her wealthy hot guy that eluded her for what like 7 seasons?  Well that my friend is because there is no perfect mate and no matter what you tell yourself, you will settle some how. I bet some of you are in doubt and totally disagreeing with what I'm saying right now. Noooo... not you, you're telling yourself that you will never settle or you have not settled. Okay... let's break this down some.

 

I have a few friends who have told me for years that they're not settling for just anybody and guess what? They are in deed single! Every single one of them! Male and female both because it doesn't matter. If you have these expectations in your mind that are not achievable, you will be single. What they tell themselves are just excuses on why they're not married or in a serious relationship. I'm looking for a spouse who can bring to the table more than me or equal equation is what I hear. They're not what I'm looking for because they had 4 drinks during our date and I think it's a sign of being an alcoholic! They're not attractive but other than that they would be okay. Or the best one... they're just too nice. I know you've heard that one before from someone you know. Maybe it has even come out of your own mouth. LOL... I'm guilty of this myself to be honest but these are just excuses that we tell ourselves which block a potentially healthy happy union. You will settle on something in your relationship because there are no perfect people and that includes you. You are not perfect because we all have flaws and we all at some point will get on someones nerves. Even our children which we love unconditionally will test your patients and do things we will disagree with. So keeping that in mind, I'll ask you this.. if you already know that there are no perfect people then why would you block yourself from potentially being happy with someone good enough? If your kids aren't perfect and your parents aren't perfect, then why are you searching for someone who doesn't exist? No one is perfect! It's just a matter of having a few criteria that your mate must meet and that's it. It's that simple and invest time in yourself to get to be a better you for the complete package. The reason I threw that in there is because even if you find someone that makes you happy and you're comfortable in your situation there will come a time when you become complacent with the repetition of the relationship which will lead to you being "bored".  

Think about it. You become bored with things that are consistent in your life. You change your car or wish for a new one, we change our jobs and even look to change where we live because we want change and seek growth. It's normal but I wouldn't advise changing your spouse if they are a good person out of boredom. It's inevitable that you will become complacent but that doesn't mean that your current situation it's not working. This is why I said you'll need outside interest other than your spouse to be completely happy so I advise to work on yourself and get a hobby. Just a quick observation I've noticed during this blogging thing. I like to look at You Tube tutorials with my daughter (usually for make-up) and one thing I've noticed is that most of the successful girls have rings on and I laugh. I said they became comfortable and picked up a habit and for the most part, these girls are incredibly successful in their You Tube channels. They have the time and invest it in something that they like doing and it paid off because the other part of their lives are comfortable and stable. This goes both ways for men and women. Both sexes can fall into this same category and the message doesn't change. Pick a short list of must haves and stick to them when looking for a partner. If your must haves are vain, then don't feel bad about that. Appearance does matter and despite what we hear, it's important so if that is a deal breaker for you then find you someone who is attractive in your eyes but keep in mind that there will always be someone more attractive and you cannot jump ship for a "better package" because that may be a bad choice. Not all attractively packaged things are good for you!    

With that said I hope this little post helped you out some. Remember also that this can go for anything in our lives including jobs. I always suggest getting a hobby in addition to your career. It's healthy and necessary to be a well rounded happy person. Work on yourself and the rest will fall into place. Happy hunting!!!